Mommy was in her 30s when she said this to me. Today, I
am. Although I’m still figuring out why would she tell this to a 10-year-old me!
Human life is all about seeking. Seeking what? Well,
pretty much everything. Seeking that first job, the dream job, the love of your
life, your true identity, the right color to your nails, the perfect tummy
tucking dress, the comfiest shoes, the just-about-right denims, the warmest
jacket, the prettiest house you can call your own, the swankiest car, the no-snag
transit to work, the ideal Netflix and chill kinda weekend, the hottest guy in
the bar, the best sex of your life, world peace.. and pretty much everything!
You get the drift. We are all seeking something or the other. Why? Because
we’re never too happy with what we have! Hell no! Yeah that too, but mainly
because it’s in the human race’s DNA to just go out there and seek the
beautiful (and the not-so-beautiful when you find out) things and experiences
this life has to offer.
Three weeks ago, after visiting a gazillion
temples in India and begging the Almighty for my Canadian PR, I landed on this
fabulous land with love in my heart, dreams in my eyes, butterflies in my
stomach and a smile on my face! Well, that’s what I thought I’d be like when I first
land here, but the truth of the matter was, I had resentment in my heart (for
being served an overcooked pasta on flight), sleep sloped eyes courtesy the
snoring husband, growling in my stomach thanks to the 20 glasses of orange
juice I guzzled in over-excitement and a frown on my face because of all of the
above. Fuck excitement! I needed to shower! The 24-hour plane stint from Bombay
to Toronto knows just how to kill your mojo and well, make you stink! Thank heavens
the immigration officer was a foot away, else you’d never have read this blog for
I would’ve been loooong shipped back to the bay!
The husband’s oh-so caring cousin Sabsaurus, received us at the airport with his lady love, holding a board that said “Welcome Swapnil & Neha!” - The one I conveniently surpassed, angrily thinking no one even came to get us at the airport! (Typical Indian entitlement you see!) Five minutes later, the oh-so caring cousin had to read aloud the same board to grab our attention.
After easily stuffing our 5 check-in, 2 cabin
and 2 backpacks in cousin Sabsaurus’s car, we Uber-ed it to my cousin Yashisaurus’s
bachelor pad. Cousin Yashisaurus wasn’t home. Why? Because just when Neha
embarks on a new journey to a new country, somehow, magically, the people she
is supposed to be with, are made to go to a mandatory work meeting or run into
an ER to get an appendectomy. This time it was the latter! Such…are my stars!
New to this city, hoping to meet cousin Yashisaurus, I was left seeking him,
only to find him the next day at his friend’s, walking in slo-mo, courtesy Mr.
Appendix!
Cousin Yashisaurus’s generous roomie Parthosaurus,
stepped out from work, only to receive us at their home, and flew back again,
leaving us to dive into their super snuggly couch. Few hours later, Parthosaurus
treated us to a $99 dinner at a local restaurant, leaving me stunned
and doing the 99x54 math all night! After all, I was the oh-so Indian
girl, who would multiply everything with 54, to derive the exact Indian rupees
spent on everything in a foreign land. What can I say, it’s a standard operating procedure for
every Indian who enters the dollar world. Trust me, the Indian parents in
dollar world are much worse! For me, this x54 phase is to last only until I get
my first Canadian pay-check. I promise!
Three hours later, I was surprisingly upbeat and
the husband jet-lagged for good! We walked down Yonge street (the longest
street in the world you know!) and, in an effort, to tie my always-open
shoelace, I looked down and stared at the street I was now standing on. That
was my moment of truth! That was when it all sank in! I had finally found what
I’d been seeking. A new life in a new city! After 5 grueling years in Bombay,
that pushed me to the edge of Terminal 2 and leave the city, this was my new
world! Toronto it was! Leaving all the demons of my past in the bay, with hopes
and aspirations for a future I would build for myself, without any lurkers, was
a happy realization! I was this lil’ girl, looking at every person that walked
past me (checking out their shoes of course), the tall and short of all
buildings, the cozy stores, the gliding buses, the lush trees, the unpretentious
cars and the beautiful night sky! I indeed was, the new girl in the city! Still
am.
So, what are the firsts for every new girl in a
city? Specially for someone from India, the baseline challenge begins with how
to communicate! The British English education and the all-American exposure,
leaves a good new girl in a North American city, all confused! Would they even
understand what I’m saying? After all, I have this Brit-American-Indo accent! Gear
up Canadians! I am all the challenge you’ve been seeking all your life! And so,
I decided I’d learn French! It’s a bilingual country after all! Hey! At least
I’ll be saved from the accent ache!
Pronunciation is another thing altogether!
Strachan Avenue is pronounced as Straan Avenue. Erskine is Erskin, Vaughan is
Von, Yonge is Young, Barrie is Berry, and so are many other names, pronounced
as some other names altogether! Credits to my convent school education, I was
saved on many occasions!
Next up, reality hit a hammer in my head, when
I discovered that Bata is not an Indian company! Seriously? Are you f**king
kidding me! My dad made me buy Bata shoes in India, most part of my life. Till
I finished college may be! It had something to do with his patriotism and buy
Indian stuff philosophy and clearly, lack of knowledge, that I fell for those
ugly floaters each time! And suddenly, I’m told it was once a Canadian headquartered brand! Well,
the only solace through this discovery was that I was meant to be here in
Canada after all, with the lifelong patronage towards Bata! Thank you, dad! Well, if not Canada, you'd definitely find me in Czechoslovakia or Switzerland, cause Bata was born in the former and presently headquartered in the latter.
The dynamic of hailing from one end of the
world and making it to the other, itself brings in its own set of comparisons
that everyone makes by default. And I was no exception. Comparison was on my
mind every step of the way! Growing up on Indian food, and finding an Indian
grocery store in your vicinity in Toronto is like finding a mini Himalaya in
your backyard, where you can literally make it to the top! And finding curry
leaves (the “most essential” Indian ingredient) there, is like someone serving
you waran bhaat toop (lentil soup n
rice with butter on top) on the same Himalaya
in a minus 100-degree Centigrade! Voila!
Also, the comparison rants of all Toronto roads
having a no-pothole pact, to the easy breezy transit, to the weather giving you
everyday hill station feels, to the locals saying thank you sorry and please on
your every move, as against the starkly opposite Bombay scenes, is utterly common.
Arriving in Toronto in summers is like being on a
3-month long vacation in itself. Who’d want to get away from here for a
getaway! Cousin Yashisaurus often spends his summer weekends at the cottages up
north. Why? What for? The whole city is a beaut in summers! Why go away! Well, he’s
got good reasons I know! Maybe I’ll have the same a few years down. But I’m a true-blue
city girl. So maybe I won’t! ;) The summer days are so long, 8pm feels like
3pm, and you have no clue about dinner time! Cos there is no ‘eat your dinner
after dark’ here! The sun’s out till 9pm and before you even know it, its 11pm
and you have to get to bed! It’s another thing when a new girl like me forgets
about dinner time and hits the bed at 2 am cos of her default Indian sleep
time. But who cares! Its summer in Toronto! 15 degrees outside, and no 40-degree
Bombay burns! No sunscreen nor umbrellas. Just plain basking in the true glory
of sunshine! Brunch at the patio or just plonk on the balcony chair. It’s
beautiful summers all the way. Also, the mattresses here are so comfy, you’d
end up sleeping 12 hours straight, with your partner dragging you out of it and
then, there’s no stopping you! You are out and about doing your thing and never
wanting to sleep. That’s the beauty of this city!
No matter which part of India you live in. The
most upmarket cities like Bombay too, the minute a girl steps out of her house
wearing shorts and a crop top, tongues go wagging and eyes literally fall off
people’s faces! The men can’t stop staring and the old aunties can’t stop yakking!
It’s all about that girl in the shorts and crop top! However, in Toronto,
everyone dresses for the season and nobody gives two hoots about what you’re
wearing! The archetypal desi men and the old Indian aunties would literally die
of a cardiac arrest, over-whelmed with every Toronto girl wearing the littlest
clothes and not giving balls about it! It’s a free world in here, where people
are seeking things waaaay beyond attire. And must I say, the girls here have
the finest nails with all the art and shape intact, and the guys pull off the
light stubble, shorts, tee and sunglass look with absolute suave…
Driving on the pothole ridden roads in Bombay
and acing the art of car maneuvering, makes me detest driving for life. Also,
the non-ac trains and buses leave me choked and no choice but Ubering for even
the trip to the next building in Bombay! The Toronto TTC was what I really
looked forward to. The simplicity and comfort of travel, the great connectivity
and frequency was a major take away for me. Maybe I’d drive when I have to drop
off my kid to school someday, but till then, Hello TTC! Quietly plonking on a
non-reserved seat in the transit, reading a book and sipping on French Vanilla
is my la la land. And just as you passage through all the boulevards, avenues
and streets across the city, you bump into the most amazing art splashed all
over! Be it a rugged car crashing through a wall, or a
lil’ girl in rain gear painted on an electrical box, or a sky-grazing building
painted with mind-boggling graffiti, or just another rundown building with the humblest
murals… it’s all art. Art that resonates with the soul of the city. The one
that reflects its voice and sentiments. The one that makes you fall in love all
over again…
Two weeks in the city, and we visited a few
friends of cousin Yashisaurus, who got together for a couple’s parents farewell
dinner. An inspiring evening for me and the husband where we saw our couple
friend grow from strength to strength in a new city, buying a house in a span
of just three years and working their way to success. And with the lady’s enthusiastic
Indian dad being the quintessential Jumping Jack capturing every moment with his
daughter’s friends, was a sight to behold. Watching him do so and end the party
on the note, “My daughter has built a wonderful life for herself in this city.
It makes me the happiest man in this world”, I was all welled up and headed
straight to the bathroom to cry a river. I’d love for my dad to say this about
me few years from now. The basement jig at our friend’s, with a full-blown
music studio, where we karaoke-d to classic Bollywood numbers all night, was really
cool. With so much warmth, love and affection, I had well taken off the ‘Happiest
Person’ crown from Uncle Jumping Jack’s mane and popped it on mine!
Stepping into the fourth week in this city, as I
continue my Dora the Explorer stint here, the husband and I continue to live in
cousin Yashisaurus and his roomie Parthosaurus’s apartment. The Saurus’s have
been super kind- Yashi and Partho for accommodating us in their household, and
sparing an entire room for us! And Sabo, for driving down from Barrie to be
with us, even before we called him for help! Plus, a super supportive cousin from
Montreal, Sachosaurus and his wife Ansaurus who would call us every week, to
check how we’re doing! And this, when we’ve actually met Sachosaurus only twice
and Ansaurus only once, ever! Just like a genie in the magic lamp! Only
difference, we had like five of them in there and never had to call them out ever!
They’re more like sensory genies you know. Some ESP would tell we’d need them, and outta the lamp they were!
Who does all of this today? Not most of us
for sure! And this is exactly what this city is all about…..Kindness! The
virtue that every new girl or guy in any city should definitely imbibe, because
as newcomers, we all go through a volley of experiences, but that one word of
comfort, that one handshake of assurance and that one act of kindness goes a
long way… Bringing a sense of belongingness in that newbie who needs it the
most in a new city! Cousin Yashisaurus said, “every newbie in the city seeks
help and comfort. I received it from someone when I was new here. Today you are
new here and I’m more than happy to be there for you.” To which the husband in
all his philosophical glory added, “Instead of just being there for your
brother hereon, make sure you relay that kindness to a new girl and guy in the
city! Then it all syncs.” Crying a river yet again, not because of the
husband’s words but his ability to make a no-jokes statement in such a poignant
moment, realization dawned like never before, and my soul instantly melted in
this wonderful city I now call home. Suddenly it all began to make sense. I
felt like the Wonder Woman of Toronto with a ‘new girl in the city’ superpower!
With no job yet and no clue how I’d get one
either, I sit here with my Mac and coffee, by the floor-to-ceiling framed
window at a cozy restaurant, watching the world go by, reveling my new life in
this city, and most importantly, being grateful, kind and seeking joy in everything!
And of course, eyeing those lovely non-Bata shoes worn by every Canadian!
