That Early 80s Gal

Every gal is special. Special for the way she looks, the way she behaves, the way she talks, the way she walks, and all other things that don’t even matter as much. And with all these special traits, she doesn’t even realize when she became the cynosure of all eyes.

Her behavior becomes subject to massive scrutiny ever since she steps into this circus called life. Her every move, every spoken word, every outfit worn, every decision made is under strict surveillance. Needless to say, I am in fact speaking about the many Indian girls.

In the early ages, a girl was tied down by so many restrictions, she almost always cursed herself for being born as one. And as years crawled by, things changed for good. The oh-so deprived Indian gal began to be liberated from the shackles of customs and traditions.

As she began experiencing the little joys of life that she was earlier forbidden, the sense of liberty was heightened with time. The Indian guy in every decade has been more so the same. Same basic habits, same basic ideas, same basic beliefs. It’s like a legacy they’ve always been secretly harnessing, that they’ve sworn to abide by no matter what. But it’s the Indian gal who’s seen a herculean change over time. Every decade, you will find a different set of Indian gals. Their evolution with each decade has been simply incredible. From being the oh-so shy to the oh-so brassy, their evolution is a chronicle in itself.

But but but.. its’ the early 80s gal who takes the cake here! Her life story is an enigma in its own right, interpreted by… none! Now, when I say the ‘early 80s gal’, I categorically mean the gal who’s born in between 1980 to 1985. They are one species who were particularly hand-crafted by the Almighty when he was in sheer confusion and utter pandemonium. All hell broke loose? Heard that? Well, yeah, I’m pretty sure they’ve derived it from there! From the early 80s gal. They say, ‘Even God doesn’t understand a woman completely, and we are just mere humans!’ Well, if there’s any truth to it, it has to be pertaining to these lovely ladies in question.

So who exactly is an early 80s gal? You must be wondering, why I should be speaking so of her in the first place. No prizes for guessing, of course I’ve been around a million of them. Ok not a million, but just a few who are much exemplary for what I shall reveal in the next lines. Now as that is established, back to defining them.

I have a work acquaintance and a friend who I render full credit to for impelling me to pen down this stuff.

Let’s begin with my friend T. Well, she’s not a friend so to say, but just a gal I happened to know while I was experimenting with a work assignment. Say hello to T. A 1984 born, T is a successful Counsellor. Born and brought up in a Mumbai suburb, the South Indian gal was raised in a Marathi neighbourhood. Now, that spills a million beans. I believe, that every child who is exposed to a Marathi circle in the formative years of their life, ends up being very insecure and egoistic by default. I too am a Marathi gal, but you know, I wasn’t raised in an all Marathi environment. Convenient for me, but a fact that remains. ;) T was no exception to the Marathi influence theory. Hailing from a traditional South Indian family, she grasped the Maharashtrian belief system with much ace. When I started my work association with her, I initially felt that she was very unprofessional and took her clients for granted. But the more I got to know her, the more my sympathies burgeoned. Actually, I became more apathetic towards her behavior and accepted her attitude as a part of what she is going through and her life choices.

T is married to a CA, who, if ever gets lost, we all know where to find- in the office! The couple has been living in a far-off city suburb for almost 5 years now. While the man commutes for a good 1.5 hours to reach work, our early 80s gal hits her throne in about an hour. Just recently, she told me about her daily routine. And here’s how it goes. She wakes up at 4am, fills up water buckets, prepares breakfast, 6am yoga class, 7 am lunch box preps, 8:30am leaves home to conquer the world, 8pm back home after a tough war day, immediate dinner preps, 10pm off go the lights! Sundays are meant for licking the weakly wounds and sorting all pending house work, some minor shopping and if time permits, the man and wife cozy up. Now, while that is her set of chores, her husband sets off to work by 7am and gets back anytime after 9pm. With little or no time left for her marital life, let alone socializing with family, T leads a completely solitary life. The loneliness has hit her way off the shore, where she has lost her true self and become this robot who lets no one enter her zone.

Having said that, the gal sure has a lot of time for a lot of guys on text chat. She is a smart, independent woman who wears her inflated ego up her sleeve. But the most peculiar thing I have noticed about her is that, she is exceedingly unresponsive to women. But but but, when a guy comes along even with the tiniest query/word, that big chick smile is a sight to behold! Her face beams up like a cracker, only to burst if a gal steps in her way! A common friend once told me, “if you want T to do your work, be super sweet and lick a** if need be.” The egoist that I am, I settled for being super sweet, and voila! My job was done in no time. However, that’s only until that. I am still at the receiving end of her ego tantrums everytime I go to her with work. She wouldn’t respond to my texts and only when I sit in front of her and put on that buttery mask, I am paid heed to. Eureka! No girl can ever be her friend, forget best friend- for the record, she has none!

When it came to revelations about her relationship with guys, I got too much gossip for anyone to handle. Believe me! The facts are too cool to be true. I can’t mention all of them yet, but here’s a tad lil tale. Our common friend R is almost about 6 years younger than her. He’s in a phase where every gal is a probability for girlfriend. Given the benefit of his gender, R got his job done smoother than ever from T. The two continued to remain in touch ever since. Voice conversations were too passé for the duo, so they held onto their smartphones for smarter conversations. While the all of silly chats went on, one such exchange ended up on a sprucy note, with T revealing the colour of her innerwear on that day! Well, here’s a cool twist to a fun relationship with a friend/client who “she” barely knows, but after this conversation, he knows it all!

While I completely understand that some gals are totally not for having girl friends and choose to have guy friends instead. But with T, it’s more of an ego issue or rather an insecurity that stands just at the crux. Of course, except T, who packages it as her cool attitude. As she may otherwise project that she has been there and done all that, I can sure bet my life that she is still confused about her choices and unhappy of where she belongs today- a place where she has a successful career and married life only on the face of it, but runs a parallel life that even she may not be fully aware of.

Enter another early 80s gal. K is a fiercely independent gal. She’s in her early 30s and for the record, born in 1984. She’s too much of an urban gal to be true. On attaining the MBA tag, in the HR function, K took up a job with a modest firm. With a sound financial background, she did the job just out of the ‘right thing to do’ and some extra chips. Career and ambition were not in the offing then. She met a guy and exchanged vows. Going steady on the career front, they had a baby and then, life was just the usual. After a handful of job changes, she finally now settled for a meaty package at the managerial level. 

While I’ve known her for almost about 10 years now, I’ve always been uncomfortable around her. Now that’s a revelation, as I write. She’s not particularly a happy person. Her husband has an extra-marital affair that I’m sure she knows of, her job is stable, enter boring, she has almost 800 Facebook friends but none she can swear by. Every time we catch up, it’s truly record-breaking that she’s in a crabby mood. It’s not even exactly crabby. She wants to have fun, but the burden of mood swings keeps her at bay and she’s left to be perpetually pensive. And when she is eventually interrupted by us friends from her meditative mode, there comes an irritable shriek. She loves being in a position of authority and is absolutely remorseless about being a chronic attention-seeker. Her behavior is on the extremes at all times to the extent that we friends have to literally be at our goof-proof best around her. Talk about hanging out with your grandmother!

Earlier I felt that owing to the monotony of her life, she behaves the way she does. But I’ve seen her experiment with a lot of stuff lately. And that doesn’t do its bit either. She is still very bored and angry at the very basis. Every time we hang out, (not that often lately) she checks-in on Facebook and tags us too. But she never ever enjoys her time with us friends. It’s like as if she wants the tag that she’s very hip for the sake of impressing her colleagues and not lose out anywhere. It’s like another star up her sleeve when she’s done things that are today considered “hip”. But at the nub of it all, she’s just plain unhappy. And no, her husband’s other interests have nothing to do with it. That could be one factor in the past one year, but definitely not a reason that justifies her incongruous attitude prior to that. She is just a plain unhappy gal, who’s got it all.. the very adorable child, a great set of parents and siblings, a great set of friends, a job to die for and a husband who has been loving her for until a year now. With so much going for this gal, the almost alpha male, she still remains at the brink of an emotional outburst at all times.

Knowing so much about her and for so long, I always felt that I should sit up and give her an empathetic shoulder to cry on; well, at least a sincere chat that I’d like to open with, “What’s up with you gal?” But realization dawns on me, that I am, in fact not a close friend. A friend that I sure tried being for her, but the reciprocation hasn’t been as much. I am just one of those friends who she calls a friend indeed but not a friend in need/when needed.

While T and K are the two living illustrations I’ve been around, there are several other early 80s gals that are just as peculiar and prove my point to the hilt.

Enough said, I truly enjoy being around these gals who don’t know what to do, but sure know what not to do! Only thing, they can’t bring into play it in their own life. But then, that’s what makes them special!

PS: Every early 80s gal who reads this article… the intent is not to offend. It’s just a fun-spirited piece to be perceived in just that way, and moreso, its all of my observations, so, your negative judgement about this one won’t really matter much. Hell broke loose now? ;)