Grow Up.!

They say, however old we may grow, the little child in us would always stay. Physically we may grow, but psychologically, this little child would always show up in our everyday lives, irrespective of our age. They also say that life follows a cycle where we escalate from being childlike into our teens, our twenties, thirties and so on until we reach our sixties which is the official age for senility, where we come back to where we started from- being a child.

But the truth is- we never really grow up to become mature. Never. All we do is pretend. Our each and every action is dictated by the little child in us. Whether we accept it or no. Our obstinacy, crankiness, temper tantrums, all are a solid proof that we are a bunch of tykes. 

I have a friend whom I have known only for the past two years while studying in the same college. We are the quintessential convenience friends. I have begun to call our friendship such, since very recently. Until now we were good friends but the real picture has slowly made its way. All thanks to her own illusions about things I never did, things she always misconstrued, her presumptions and her definitions of friendship (absolutely surreal).

We are on each other’s chat messenger list, discussing about the silliest and dopiest things until a few months ago since the conversations have become grim and reprisal. The transformation has seeped into our friendship courtesy her ‘refusal to grow up’.

She is a classic case of immaturity. The child in her overtakes her personality to such an extent that she in fact forgets who she is. On profound comprehension, I have come to realize that her childish self is all that she is. That is her. A child with no siblings, pampered, bashed by her mother while she was young (in age), gets easily irked for no fault of anyone but only hers and an inflated ego. Every new person she gets involved with, she cleverly manages to create an impression of being the most obliging and compassionate individual one could ever come across. But just a month about getting to know her and the ugly face shows off. A face that is so repulsive that more than loathing, it fills one with fear of not displeasing her so that she keeps off her ugly face and at least momentarily pretends to be nice.

As her interesting personality, one other interesting thing about her are the messenger status updates and pictures. They win hands down! I challenge anyone to compete with her. She is the champ of the trade. The girl is lonely and insecure to the extent that I feel nothing but pity. Her latest update stated, “Never expected people to be so selfish.. Past few weeks have been good eye openers.”

For things she can never say upfront, it all shows up in her status updates. Be it anger, disgust, happiness, it’s all there. An exhibit of every possible emotion. She has a reaction to every status update anyone posts. Awfully annoying for readers yet its stay put. It’s a social media war of sorts.

For my twenty-seven year old friend, growing up seems a far cry for she is habituated to thinking and behaving like a child in any given situation. More than habit, it’s her personality now.

The child does exist in all of us but what we need to learn is, when and where to let that child show up and when not to. If not anything else, her curious case has brought me to realize that age is definitely not the touchstone for someone to be mature. It’s all about choice. Choosing not to grow up and resorting to childish means of expression. As the famed saying goes, ‘Growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional’. My question is, ‘Why are we keeping it as an option?’ A bit of sense and maturity will do no harm. Apart from fostering relationships, it brings in a totally different perspective of the way we see the world. Life can be absolutely different if we act with at least little maturity. I believe it’s not too much to do, because if it’s ever going to benefit anyone - it’s you. So while growing old, might as well grow up a little.